How I Found My Phone’s Knight in Shining Armor

Let’s rewind to three months ago. I was fresh off my fourth shattered screen protector in six weeks (thanks, butterfingers), scrolling Instagram ads at 2 AM like you do. Enter: Supcase’s Unicorn Beetle Pro – a name that sounds like a rejected My Little Pony villain but kept popping up in rugged tech gear circles. The promise? Military-grade drop protection, a built-in screen protector, and compatibility with MagSafe. Sold. I ordered the ‘black on black’ version faster than you can say ‘why is my phone repair bill my third-largest monthly expense?’

First Impressions: The package arrived looking like it could survive a nuclear winter. Inside: the case, a belt clip holster (lol), and instructions written in 12 languages. The case itself felt like a tiny tank – textured TPU edges, a clear polycarbonate back, and a satisfying click when I snapped it onto my iPhone 15 Pro. Immediate pros: The raised bezels around the screen/camera screamed ‘I PROTEC’, and the port covers gave me hope against my coffee cup’s splash radius.


My Three-Month Journey With a Phone Condom

Daily Use:

  • Coffee Shop Cred: The textured grip saved me from at least three latte launches
  • Parent-Tested: Survived being thrown into a ball pit by my 3-year-old (the phone, not the kid)
  • Outdoor Proof: Hiked Colorado’s Manitou Incline with it bouncing against my hiking pack – zero scratches
Amazon.com: SUPCASE Unicorn Beetle Pro Series Case for Google Pixel 7 Pro (2022 Release), Full ...

Notable Moments:

  • The Parking Lot Test: Dropped from hip height onto asphalt – case got a tiny scuff, phone laughed it off
  • The Jealous Ex Incident: Let’s just say someone ‘accidentally’ kicked my phone across a bar. Still works.
  • Swim Fail: Fell into a pool during a BBQ. Port covers kept it dry despite my panicked fishing

Unexpected Wins:

  • The MagSafe compatibility actually works better than Apple’s own cases
  • Screen protector doesn’t make touchscreens feel laggy like cheaper brands
  • Belt clip is unironically great for bike rides

Let’s Break It Down: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Pros (Why This Case F*ks):**

  1. Drop-Proof Sorcery: MIL-STD-810G certification isn’t marketing BS – I’ve yeeted this thing onto concrete 10+ times
  2. Slim(ish) Design: Only 25% thicker than Apple’s silicone case but 500% more protective
  3. Zero Fogging: Unlike OtterBox, the screen protector hasn’t clouded up after months
  4. Port Protection: Flaps stay closed but aren’t annoying to open (looking at you, Lifeproof)
  5. Price: $35 vs. $70+ for equivalent ‘premium’ brands
SUPCASE Unicorn Beetle Pro Case for Samsung Galaxy A23 4G/5G (2022), Full-Body Rugged Belt-Clip ...

Cons (Where Supcase Gets Side-Eye):

  1. Bulkier Than a Dad’s Wallet: Not ideal for tight jeans enthusiasts
  2. Buttons Stiffer Than a British Upper Lip: Took two weeks to break in the volume rocker
  3. Clear Back Scratches: Micro-abrasions visible under direct light (fixed with a $5 skin)

Real Talk: Who Should Buy This?

Perfect For:

  • Chronic phone droppers
  • Outdoor workers (construction, landscaping)
  • Parents of sticky-handed toddlers
  • Gym rats who bench press their phones

Skip If:

  • You’re allergic to practicality over aesthetics
  • Need wireless charging without MagSafe (port covers block some pads)
Amazon.com: SUPCASE Unicorn Beetle Pro Series Case Designed for Samsung Galaxy S21 FE 5G (2022 ...

Pro Tips:

  • Remove the case monthly to clean out pocket lint (prevents back scratches)
  • Buy during holiday sales – I snagged mine 20% off on Labor Day
  • Use a microfiber cloth under the screen protector to reduce dust

The Bottom Line: Does Your Phone Deserve This Bodyguard?

After 90 days of abuse that would make an insurance agent cry, my $35 Supcase has:

  • Zero cracks
  • Fully functional buttons
  • All port covers intact

Value Score: 9/10 – Loses a point for not including a cleaning cloth

Supcase Review | Supcase.com Ratings & Customer Reviews – Nov '24

Final Verdict: If you want a case that turns your phone into a Nokia 3310 reincarnate without looking like you robbed a Best Buy truck, this is it. Just don’t expect it to fit in your skinny jeans’ ‘condom pocket.’

Update: My partner now owns one too. Their phone survived being sat on by a Great Dane. Case closed.

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References

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